Girl are you trying to kill me rn or what
Reading one star Yelp reviews of NY museums.
On MoMA: “6 floors, 4 good works of art.”
On The Cloisters: “The collection is decent and perhaps the best you’re going to get this side of Europe, but most of it is imported. If you’re ok with that, then by all means enjoy.”
And my favorite, from the Museum of Natural History: “Fake fake fake…everything is fake!!! What a waste of money and time.”
TOO MANY FAKE DINOSAURS. THEY WANTED A REAL WHALE.
(I want a real whale.)
And lastly, re: my place of employment: “No famous paintings.”
I’M SO SORRY THE CLOISTERS COULDN’T GET ANY MEDIEVAL ART FROM AMERICA FOR YOU, YELP REVIEWER.
Reviewing the proliferation of tipsy tweets you sent last night and feeling the intense relief of not having said anything horrible like