Fellow thick-thighed ladies, a question
Favorite brand of fleece-lined tights? I’m finally going to invest in some but I’m cagey about fit.
Chiwetel Ejiofor and Kate Moss for Vogue USA, December 2013.
I’m concerned that Kate Moss is aging backwards, but also damn this is good stuff.
Okay so wait, to whom do I have to sell my soul in order to go to Istanbul with Chiwetel Ejiofor in that suit? Because, you know, I’ve already got the flights booked, so sign me up.
According to their survey, men hate when women wear beanies, floppy hats, hair bows, open-side shirts, oversize sweaters, shoulder pads, peplums, bandeau bikinis (“they just make your shoulders look like a linebacker”), bright lipstick, heavy eye makeup, fake nails, bangles, pointy-toed shoes, wedge sneakers, ultra-high heels, fold-over ankle boots (“it looks like the shoes have foreskins”), high-waisted jeans, high-waisted shorts, high-waisted skirts (“it lacks a certain degree of subtlety”), pantsuits (“you’re a woman, not a man”), drop-crotch pants (“really, any loose fitting pants,) and mullet dresses (“I just don’t get it — where’s the fucking party??? You are covering the back!”). The question is how to wear all of these things at once.
Well, that’s next Halloween sorted out.
Look, I’m not saying I was killin’ it yesterday, but I was kind of killin’ it yesterday.
I have no advice for you on how to find jeans. Just set aside a day for shopping, and make sure you have enough money saved not only for the pants, but for a treat to reward yourself with afterwards, like a fancy new vibrator or all the tequila.