If you were on Twitter last weekend, you probably noticed the #YesAllWomen trending topic. The hashtag’s purpose was to raise awareness of the effect of misogyny and sexism in the daily life of women. Here is an FAQ for men who’d like to jump into the conversation.

I wrote this (in large part because of jaimealyse)! I’m really proud of it! Thanks, buzzfeed!

dudeinpublishing

#YESALLWOMEN

dudeinpublishing:

Because if it doesn’t constitute battery, that doesn’t mean it’s not assault. 

Because appealing to tribalism by “think of if it was your sister, daughter, mother” may solder a few new emotional connections within those who are questioning or otherwise in the dark re: feminist issues, but it’s an imperfect and partial approach. One of my most drastic emotional responses is to the story of the man who followed my mom in his car while she was jogging, then offered her candy, then sped off after she cursed him out. But once you finish constructing that bridge over the sympathy gap, you gotta reasonably maintain it. Widen and add lanes, install rumble strips. Don’t treat it like our government treats theirs

Because it applies to women with dicks/jobs/no jobs/no dicks/money/no money/husbands/no husbands/power/no power.

Because when I was eighteen and she was trying to tell me something conflicted I couldn’t wrap my mind around why she would kiss him if she didn’t want to.

Because I drove to meet a New York girl, born and raised, smart as a whip, and when I opened the car door from the driver’s side I saw she was clutching a pen in one hand and I didn’t know why.

Because I and we have to remind my and ourselves to stifle the reflex to wish, to REALLY WISH, that she’s just being over emotional and whiny and that those are things women just do because hey, how awesome and smart and cool does that make me/us by comparison?

Because the everyday exchange of human kindness and cruelty and indifference is not a market free of corruption, perversion, and malicious appropriation by those consciously and unconsciously wishing to consolidate their (perceived and actual) power.

Because congressmen and -women can and sometimes do respond to their electorate.

Because humans are not just hardware. We’re wetware. Our response to a strange or troubling idea might be stubborn or it might be positive. Our response to no strange or troubling ideas is nothing.

Because when you see it, you can’t unsee it, and you have to choose to not look away.

Because shame and internalization is both a helpless reaction and a personal choice and only in acknowledging both can any thinker start a change in themselves.

Because it only takes one. But it will always take more.

Because we have none of the luxuries of time or ornamentation with which to express certain pain and frustration.

Because forcing “because” into a preposition is a little messy but messy language is often what you need for messy times.

Because for many of us, the idea that they’re our intellectual equals is a given. But for more of us, the idea that, underneath the centuries of social and economic and sexual and educational segregation, perhaps they could actually be our intellectual superiors…that may be kernel of icy fear at the seat of most of the antifeminist bloviation you’ve witnessed these past few days.

image

Keep going.

This dude gets it.

proofreadingbooks

proofreadingbooks:

The literature: Roxane Gay’s BAD FEMINIST

The libation: Listen, guys, I… it’s been a rough few days. Can we just do a beer and a shot combo? I think we all need to get off the internet, stop feeding the trolls, and read some roxanegay. The beer will be cheap. The whiskey probably will be too. #YesAllWomen need a fucking drink, my god.

Photo © intangible

Don’t let the bastards grind you down, don’t let the bastards catch you dry.

alishalevin

alishalevin:

guardian:

#YesAllWomen: how Twitter reacted to the shootings in California

In the wake of the Isla Vista killings, #YesAllWomen began trending on Twitter as people shared experiences instances of harassment and violence against women. See more Twitter reactions 

Proud to see my courageous bestie
emchughes and so many other women (and like-minded men) being recognized for speaking up!

<3 you. The past three days have been so unreal.

emchughes
emchughes:

This is far and away the most popular thing I’ve ever tweeted, and the responses I’ve been getting have been making me heartsick. The events in Santa Barbara yesterday were beyond horrifying and I’m not even capable of forming coherent thoughts about the ramifications, but if we’re going to take one positive thing away from this, I hope it’s that men listen, even if just for a day, to the innate fear that women live with every moment.

A short list of things I&#8217;ve been called in response to this tweet: extreme, rubbish, &#8220;radically evil&#8221; (!), &#8220;boiling over with misandry,&#8221; bitter, stupid, crazy, overly entitled, hysterical, hostile, villainizing, sexist, lacking a sense of humor. I&#8217;ve been accused of getting dumped, not liking sex, and having a &#8220;man-hate boner.&#8221; One man told me that my tweet was &#8220;a blanket statement implying that all men in general are about as good as rapists.&#8221; Another told me, &#8220;You were given to men. So just shut your soup coolers.&#8221; (?!)
What&#8217;s amazing is that this isn&#8217;t my day job. I don&#8217;t write about feminism for a major site. I&#8217;m not Erin Ryan or Nicole Cliffe or Jessica Valenti. This is one 140 character insight that I tossed off in response to the day&#8217;s events and based on my personal experience and that of my friends. The negative response has been astonishing - I don&#8217;t know how we all deal with this shit day-in, day-out just for the crime of Speaking While Female.
On the other hand, I&#8217;ve gotten amazing support from jaimealyse, ilaniel, losethemittens, queenieinmanhattan, victoria-q-nerdballs, mymissus, rachelfershleiser, alishalevin, thegirlintheredsunglasses, blairthornburgh, gobookyourself, and so many others. Dozens of women have shared stories of harassment and assault and bad behavior. Plenty of men have lent support and sympathy. I feel really lucky to have this support system, and it&#8217;s just strengthened my resolve to be confident and vocal and lend my own support as needed in the future. #FeministPosse2014, y&#8217;hear?

emchughes:

This is far and away the most popular thing I’ve ever tweeted, and the responses I’ve been getting have been making me heartsick. The events in Santa Barbara yesterday were beyond horrifying and I’m not even capable of forming coherent thoughts about the ramifications, but if we’re going to take one positive thing away from this, I hope it’s that men listen, even if just for a day, to the innate fear that women live with every moment.

A short list of things I’ve been called in response to this tweet: extreme, rubbish, “radically evil” (!), “boiling over with misandry,” bitter, stupid, crazy, overly entitled, hysterical, hostile, villainizing, sexist, lacking a sense of humor. I’ve been accused of getting dumped, not liking sex, and having a “man-hate boner.” One man told me that my tweet was “a blanket statement implying that all men in general are about as good as rapists.” Another told me, “You were given to men. So just shut your soup coolers.” (?!)

What’s amazing is that this isn’t my day job. I don’t write about feminism for a major site. I’m not Erin Ryan or Nicole Cliffe or Jessica Valenti. This is one 140 character insight that I tossed off in response to the day’s events and based on my personal experience and that of my friends. The negative response has been astonishing - I don’t know how we all deal with this shit day-in, day-out just for the crime of Speaking While Female.

On the other hand, I’ve gotten amazing support from jaimealyseilaniel, losethemittens, queenieinmanhattan, victoria-q-nerdballsmymissusrachelfershleiseralishalevinthegirlintheredsunglassesblairthornburghgobookyourself, and so many others. Dozens of women have shared stories of harassment and assault and bad behavior. Plenty of men have lent support and sympathy. I feel really lucky to have this support system, and it’s just strengthened my resolve to be confident and vocal and lend my own support as needed in the future. #FeministPosse2014, y’hear?

This is far and away the most popular thing I’ve ever tweeted, and the responses I’ve been getting have been making me heartsick. The events in Santa Barbara yesterday were beyond horrifying and I’m not even capable of forming coherent thoughts about the ramifications, but if we’re going to take one positive thing away from this, I hope it’s that men listen, even if just for a day, to the innate fear that women live with every moment.

This is far and away the most popular thing I’ve ever tweeted, and the responses I’ve been getting have been making me heartsick. The events in Santa Barbara yesterday were beyond horrifying and I’m not even capable of forming coherent thoughts about the ramifications, but if we’re going to take one positive thing away from this, I hope it’s that men listen, even if just for a day, to the innate fear that women live with every moment.

missrumphiusproject
undercovershelf:

The Ultimate Guide to the Independent Princess
http://www.amightygirl.com/mighty-girl-picks/independent-princess
A truly amazing guide to 80 books that feature princesses who aren’t afraid to think for themselves and do things other than waiting for Prince Charming!

Oh! So much love for this. Paper Bag Princess was one of my formative childhood stories.

undercovershelf:

The Ultimate Guide to the Independent Princess

http://www.amightygirl.com/mighty-girl-picks/independent-princess

A truly amazing guide to 80 books that feature princesses who aren’t afraid to think for themselves and do things other than waiting for Prince Charming!

Oh! So much love for this. Paper Bag Princess was one of my formative childhood stories.

1. THIS SHOW IS NOT FOR ME / I CAN’T RELATE

HULK REMEMBERS THE FIRST MOVIE HULK EVER RELATED TO. IT MIRRORED EXACTLY HOW LITTLE HULK GREW UP ON THIS MOISTURE FARM IN THE DESERT PLANET OF TATOOINE AND ALL OF SUDDEN THESE TWO DROIDS SHOWED UP AND CHANGED HULK’S LIFE FOREVER. YOU SEE [SARCASTIC JOKE GOES ON]. THE GENUINE POINT IS THAT IDENTIFICATION IN THESE SORTS OF DIRECT TERMS IS MEANINGLESS. WE DON’T RELATE TO OCCUPATIONS AND STATUS. WE RELATE TO EMOTIONS. WE EMPATHIZE WITH PEOPLE GETTING CRAPPED ON IN LIFE. AND REALLY? 20-SOMETHINGS FRESH OUT OF COLLEGE WITHOUT A JOB? THAT’S SOMETHING THAT’S NOT PRETTY UNIVERSAL? … OKAY.

2. YEAH, BUT THE SHOW IS ABOUT WHINY 20-SOMETHINGS WHO THINK NEW YORK IS THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE

YES. THAT’S WHAT IT’S ABOUT. BUT THE SHOW IS OFTEN LOOKING AT THEM WITH A CRITICAL EYE. BUT UNLIKE, SAY, A SHOW LIKE IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA WHICH MAKES THEIR SELFISHNESS OVERT AND THUS ONE BIG JOKE, THERE IS A GRAY LAYER TO THIS ONE. MEANING THE THEORETICAL PROBLEM OF GIRLS IS THAT IT ALSO HAS AN UNDERSTANDING EYE TOWARD ITS WORLD. IT’S NOT OUTRIGHT CONDEMNING BEHAVIORS YOU MAY FIND CONDEMNABLE. IT IS TRYING TO HUMANIZE THEM. TO HULK, THE EFFECT IS AN HONEST APPROACH TO PEOPLE WHO ARE TOTALLY WHINY, YOUNG NEW YORKERS, BUT WHO, AMAZINGLY ENOUGH, CAN STILL HAVE VERY REAL, TEXTURED, WELL-OBSERVED AND RATHER FUNNY LIVES.

FILM CRIT HULK on Badass Digest

I wish I could excerpt the whole thing - there’s a brilliant preface about I Am Love and how you can not like a piece of media but still learn from it and the criticism surrounding it, as well as a few more bullet points addressing other complaints people have lobbed at Girls (including the race thing). 

Seriously, if you’re at all interested in pop culture & criticism, this is well worth your time.

Traditionally, support for birth control was bipartisan. The Roman Catholic hierarchy was opposed, but Republican presidents like Richard Nixon and George H.W. Bush provided strong support. Then family planning became tarnished by overzealous and coercive programs in China and India, and contraception became entangled in America’s abortion wars. Many well-meaning religious conservatives turned against it, and funding lagged. The result was, paradoxically, more abortions. When contraception is unavailable, the likely consequence is not less sex, but more pregnancy.

Contraception already prevents 112 million abortions a year, by U.N. estimates. The United Nations Population Fund is a bête noire for conservatives, but its promotion of contraception means that it may have reduced abortions more than any organization in the world.

The Birth Control Solution - NYTimes.com

Sometimes I think Nicholas Kristof is the only smart person left.