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Ohio really did go to President Obama last night. And he really did win. And he really was born in Hawaii. And he really is, legitimately, President of the United States again. And the Bureau of Labor Statistics did not make up a fake unemployment rate last month. And the Congressional Research Service really can find no evidence that cutting taxes on rich people grows the economy. And the polls were not skewed to over-sample Democrats. And Nate Silver was not making up fake predictions about the election to make conservatives feel bad. Nate Silver was doing math. And climate change is real. And rape really does cause pregnancy sometimes. And evolution is a thing … And nobody’s taking away anyone’s guns. And taxes have not gone up. And the deficit is dropping, actually. And Saddam Hussein did not have weapons of mass destruction. And the moon landing was real. And FEMA is not building concentration camps. And UN election observers are not taking over Texas. And moderate reforms of regulations on the insurance industry and the financial services industry are not the same thing as Communism.
Rachel Maddow, saying what every Democrat has been trying to tell every Republican. (via bowsic)
unforgettabledetritus
thewordunheard:

scoldylox:

Never forget.
No—really, please never forget that the Republican presidential nominee in 2008 airquoted women’s health in a debate, and dismissed it as an unreasonable concern when discussing your reproductive rights. 

I had obviously been an Obama supporter before that point in the campaign, but that moment was the point at which I was like, oh, FUCK no. You are NOT going to be my President.

Just reminding everyone that Todd Akin is not an isolated incident.

thewordunheard:

scoldylox:

Never forget.

No—really, please never forget that the Republican presidential nominee in 2008 airquoted women’s health in a debate, and dismissed it as an unreasonable concern when discussing your reproductive rights. 

I had obviously been an Obama supporter before that point in the campaign, but that moment was the point at which I was like, oh, FUCK no. You are NOT going to be my President.

Just reminding everyone that Todd Akin is not an isolated incident.

• The average uterus is “cash only.”

• When provoked or frightened, a uterus emits a high-pitched scream that instantly stuns its attacker.

• The natural enemies of the uterus are the locust, the hawk, the carpenter ant, and the witch.

• It is possible to use a uterus to determine the nearest source of fresh water or magnetic North but not both.

• A uterus will freeze at any temperature below that of 15C.

• The touch of a uterus will blight and cripple the oak, the pine, and the larch for a generation. A cactus is impervious to the uterus’ touch.

• A uterus that has come into the full realization of its powers can only be killed by the seventh son of a seventh son. However, he cannot be Jewish.

• It is possible to summon an inhabitant of the drowned city of Atlantis by blowing upon a uterus like a conch shell. This can be done only once.

• No uterus can survive under the gaze of a wizard; it will wither and shrivel into a harmless stone mask (do not attempt to wear the mask).

• The more uteruses a woman can collect during her lifetime, the higher her status, and the more servants she will command, among the dead.

• “It all” is stored within the uterus of a single righteous woman in every generation. Could she be found and cut open, women everywhere would then “have it all.”

• A uterus cannot enter a public library or pass in front of a Wendy’s during business hours.

• A uterus that has been attacked or divided into several parts can, given enough time, regenerate the lost tissue and develop rudimentary powers of speech (Spanish only).

• You can substitute up to three tablespoons’ worth of a uterus for any recipe that calls for baking soda.

• If trapped outside of a female body and unable to find food, a uterus is capable of living off of its own tissue for up to 80 days.

• Like the mythical tent of Peri-Banou, a uterus can contract to fit within the palm of a human hand or expand to cover an entire jousting field.

• A woman born with two or no uteruses is left exposed to the elements in the nearest forest. Should she attempt to return home she will be hunted by the elders of her village.

• A uterus is capable of holding up to twelve ounces of venom but cannot experience the human feeling of regret.

• No uterus can bear the touch of salt, or the smell of the sea.

Among the many awful, tasteless, grotesque and sometimes actually funny things that were said at the Gridiron Club Dinner this weekend in D.C., one of those dress-up events where the press and politicians cozy up, this thing was said by Texas Governor Rick Perry: “I like Mitt Romney as much as one really good-looking man can like another really good-looking man—without breaking the law in Texas.”

Have you ever been innocently reading a news article on the Internet and had the experience where your vision slowly becomes obscured, as if a red velvet curtain is being lowered in front of your eyes, and little black sparkles with white outlines dance in the foreground, and every muscle in your body suddenly contracts, and then a bit later you come to, slumped in your chair, blood mixed with drool running down your chin, your socks soaked with sweat, covered in gooseflesh head to toe? That is a rage blackout, and that is what Rick Perry did to me by saying this. I hope that he is leisurely eaten alive by a pack of rabid gay kittens.