3. Every scene involving a woman last night could be replaced with that 30 Rock skit where Amelia Earhart says “oh no, my period!” and crashes her plane.
YOU’RE ALL FIRED
I wanna thank my daughter, Alice, for being the funniest person in my family. For coining phrases like “I want to go to there” and sometimes just putting on pretend make-up in the mirror, and she’ll turn to me and say, “I look like Barack Obama.” She has somehow gotten it in her head that it’s a good thing to resemble a famous politician. I don’t know where she got that idea.
Alice is my heroine - and by heroine I mean lady hero. I don’t want to inject her and listen to jazz.
I know older men in comedy who can barely feed and clean themselves, and they still work. The women, though, they’re all ‘crazy.’ I have a suspicion — and hear me out, because this is a rough one — that the definition of “crazy” in show business is a woman who keeps talking even after no one want to fuck her anymore.